Generating Simple Grammars in PHP about Soup

So, I’ve worked in a number of loose environments, and there tends to be some concept of recurring topics wherever I go… even more, there’s always that guy who sees that flicker of interest die in your eyes but still bravely forges ahead with the conversation. A coworker had probably the most effective blockade for this, he’d start on what I called the “soup talker” story. It started with him explaining about his overeager coworker from a long past job and how much that guy loved soup. Just couldn’t get over it. Wouldn’t quit talking about it. But as the story progressed, you got the uneasy feeling that you had become the soup talker, and indeed, he would used that story, like Pavlov’s bell to cause the other party to end their long winded diatribe. So I took it upon myself to write this script, so the world never had a shortage of talk about various soups, in honor of windbag coworkers.

Don’t you like soup, too? Wouldn’t you like to hear all about it?